We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
