I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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