Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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