I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
