I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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