so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
