Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
