All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
