I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
