he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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