Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
