bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
