I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
