Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
