Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
