Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
