This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
