What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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