Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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