This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
