my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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