Sponge bath it is.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
