u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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