Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
