Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
