I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
