The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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