Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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