do herpes really smell.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
