He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
