Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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