What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
