So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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