idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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