you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
