I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
