you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
