question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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