so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
