hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
