doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
handjob tips. give me some.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
