I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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