Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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