i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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