Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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