So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
