Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
