i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
