When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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