i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
