Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
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