No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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