he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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