So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
How's work?
Spinning.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Someone came in the potted fern
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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