rhymes with "ouble enetration"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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